Thirty years of the Cap’n
… as inspired by Billy Joel.
Thirty years… who would've believed that? I know I didn't expect it! So, I wanted to write something special to commemorate my third decade with Christensen’s.
Before the COVID-19 shutdown last spring, I had been planning on getting tickets for Billy Joel, who was coming to town. Definitely a bucket list concert for me, but… since there was no telling how long lockdown would last, I decided to take my finger off off the “buy tickets” button. Good thing that I did. When we return to some form of normalcy, maybe he'll come back one more time. One can hope, right?
Anyway, that is when I came up with the idea of an improvisation to a Billy Joel song.
GREAT IDEA, Cap'n! You can do it!
I started out with the ever popular “We Didn't Start The Fire”. It was coming together beautifully, but then the song kept going and going… and going. I was running out of witty lines to put in for its sixteen parts (I got to about ten), while maintaining the pace and trying to keep it in chronological order.
You may have predicted by now that I hit a wall.
I tried spinning all kinds of ideas around and it just wasn't working out, so I put it on the back burner. But then ANOTHER song popped into my head, and it all started coming together. It is, arguably, the song that got Mr. Joel launched to stardom. While option one probably took a month to piece together to no avail, option two came together in about four hours.
So, please enjoy “Thirty years of the Cap'n”, as inspired and based on the rhythm of Billy Joel's “Piano Man”.
*Harmonica introduction that we all know*
It's 8am on a Monnnnday
And contractors start shufflin' in.
Thirty seasons in now with CPC.
So let our saga begin…
Off to the yard, we're unloading trees!
In March, it's pretty damn coooold.
There's rain, snow and mud, and mixed with some sleet,
I need ten changes of clothes….
La da da dee dee dah….
La da da dee dee daaaaaah haaaa….
*Chorus*
Teach me about plants, you're a Nurseryman!
Show me ponds, legos, and lights!
You help our designs turn out beautiful,
From morning, through the day, and the night.
Some contractors have become friends of mine
Since I was around twenty-three.
Some share a joke, while some bum a smoke
While we're cruisin' on a cart tagging treeeees.
Some say “Dave, The Green Industry's killin' me!”
As the laughter fades away from their face
“I could've had, maybe, an office job”
“But I can't stay cooped up in one place!”
La da da dee dee dah….
La da da dee dee daaaaaah haaaa….
My alias is called “Cap'n Obvious”
You're my “Minions” when I rant, vent, and write.
I'm the first of four “Daveys”, which I find pretty crazy,
And I've been here over half of my liiiiife.
We've all learned about plants and new hybrids
Logistics, Distribution, and sales goals.
Fatigue creeps up on you with a vengeance
And you're exhausted by the time you get hooooome.
<Visualize me doing “air-piano”here>
*Chorus*
Teach me about plants, you're a Nurseryman!
Show me ponds, legos, and lights!
You help our designs turn out beautiful,
From morning, through the day, and the night.
There's a few dozen trucks before Memorial Day
Upper management throws us a smile.
It’s impressive to me when all of you come to see
Our controlled chaos for a while.
And the loaders roar like dinosaurs!
Is it six yet? I sure need a beeeeer!
I step out in the yard and hear “Good Lord! You're still bald!”
“But Cap'n, it's great you're still here!”
La da da dee dee dah….
La da da dee dee daaaaaah haaaa….
*Chorus*
Teach me about plants, you're a Nurseryman!
Show me ponds, legos, and lights,
You help our designs turn out beautiful,
From morning, through the day, and the night.
Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a pleasure serving you for the past thirty years. From the days when I was an eighteen-year old punk kid working at Rushton Farms as a production worker in the tree fields, to the today where you trust me and all of us at Christensen's to help coordinate and assist to make your design visions become a reality.
I would say let's see what the next thirty years will be like, but I'm going to be honest: That would put me at seventy-eight years old. At that point, I plan on being on a beach, sipping on some tropical drink that has a fruit basket as a garnish on top of it, and enjoying retirement.
Thank you, everyone! And my apologies if the lyrics to this tune gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day!
Dave “Cap'n” Reutter
